Patience

I can't believe how much we have become a number society. It seems everywhere that you go everything is a number. Go to eat and you have to take a number. Go to the hardware store and the counter help wants you to take a number. Why not just brand us with some number and that would solve all the problems. Where did the personal help go? Why can't we take time out of our so busy life styles to actually enjoy life?

A man let me go ahead of him in the movie store because he realized that I had two kids with me and he was all alone. I really appreciated his gesture and couldn't pass it up the second time that he had to offer. I think he realized his huge mistake after I got to the counter and started checking out. The counter help just wanted to confirm that I had a "Blue-ray player", "what I asked? Do I have what?" "well you are renting only one blue ray disc." So we had to go back and find another movie for Ariana but she couldn't figure out why we could not rent the movie that she wanted to. This whole time the man at the counter is patiently waiting, while the younger man by himself is also waiting. I feel sorry for people that have any patience in this world and are nice enough to let a father and his two kids jump in line because they are already cranky. I just can't be so nice, because once I get them into the car all that I have to do to drown them out is turn the radio up a little louder so that I can't hear them. Then I start singing really loud, kids really hate when their parents sing extremely loud, must be that whole parents are nerds. My four year old once asked me to be quiet while the two year old was making the universal shhhhh sign for some peace. I do love the kids but sorry babes when I am driving I am in full control and I will enjoy the music rather than the screaming that is usually going on in the back seat. Soon enough I will be able to tell you live with it or walk home.

Kids...Fireworks...Boy Scouts

Tried to teach my kids something new today. You can't point lit fireworks, sparklers or those morning glory things at people. There really are some important lessons in life that will take a long time for them to learn. I still remember a river rafting trip in Alaska, the infamous Gulkana week-long rafting trip. Possibly one of the very funnest and most exciting scout outings that I have ever been on. One of the kids parents didn't ever have this so important life lesson with him prior to going on this trip. Roman candles (very sweet fireworks) are much more dangerous than the stuff you can buy in Utah. They, roman candles, are not made for pointing at people, but then again why would someone buy a firework that you have to hold and shoots out projectiles other than to point it at someone. I can hear the voice of reason coming from some of "other" parents saying Paul you were supposed to be teaching those two not to do this sort of thing. Well the good thing is they will not be old enough to read this blog for a very long time and by then they will understand why their father was having second thoughts about the whole pointing fireworks at other humans. In close proximity it is not a very intelligent or good thing at all, but going from one river raft to another is not that bad of an idea. I honestly believe that if the scouting officials actually knew what went down on scouting outings in our Alaska troop our sponsorship would have been pulled faster than ... well lets just say that I don't think we ever followed any scouting protocol on any scout outings. I don't think that the scouts condone; R-rated movies (or even the fact of taking a troop of boy scouts away from scout camp to go to the movies), fireworks (you can do a lot of dangerous things with fireworks). They are more into the whole torture young men with any form of torture they can come up with and we can turn it into a "merit badge". Don't get me wrong I love the boy scout program, they do teach many life supporting attributes, but come on swimming in an Alaskan lake that only unfroze weeks prior to scout camp that is just wrong. Why at scout camp are the only heated showers those of the leaders/adults? If I ever have to tie my kids down for any reason I actually now probably 23 different knots that I could use but I still can't figure out how to connect those really intricate seat belts that hold the kids down in their car seats. Boy Scouts is one of the greatest institutions in the world, roman candles really are no fun unless they are being shot across a freezing Alaskan lake from one inflatable river raft to another inflatable river raft, and a 4-year-old running around the yard with a "morning glory" firework isn't and never will be a safe parenting practice.

Funniest projectile

Today probably the funniest thing happened, that I have seen, in a very long time. The kids are old enough, almost, that taking them to the park is relaxing. I say almost because I still have to watch them but not like a hawk, I can actually enjoy the heat and sweatiness that the 100+ degree weather brings. So back to the funniest thing, we went to the grocery store prior to the park to buy some popsicles, because it really is deathly hot in Utah right now. Anyways once at the park I let the monsters loose with their popsicles. At first they were very timid to go on any of the jungle gym equipment but that only lasted about 2 or 3 licks. Not sure which was more appealing the popsicles or the fact that they were at the park and could just let of some of that pent up energy. So I am sitting down sort of watching both of them from afar, relaxing on the parkbench. I notice Matthew, the two year old, going up to the upper part of the jungle gym to the very highest slide that there is. He has only finished like 1% of his popsicle because he is two and has the attention span of a well two year old. Sometimes a couple of hours after we finish eating you will find him playing somewhere and he honestly looks like a chipmunk, cheeks full of food that he has calmly been holding in his cheeks since he got down from the dinner table not willing to part with those last few bites. Hilarious, he actually was choking once on food that had he had been holding in his mouth for at least 4 hours, was very hard for him to willingly spit it out into the toilet.
Back to the park, so he is on the highest part of the gym with his Popsicle and I so happen to see him go down the slide, that the last child must have left extremely well lubricated because he pretty much shot out of the end like a missile. I was very quick to get up when I saw him flying through the air. Well as you can imagine he lost control of the Popsicle and was sort of spread eagled on the wood chips with the Popsicle laying a few feet away perfectly intact. I was sure that this was going to be the end of a very short trip to the park. He calmly arose, got his bearings back, looked around a little until he located his Popsicle, looked it over calmly, picked it up blew the dirt off and quietly started sucking on the Popsicle again.
I couldn't stop laughing, he and his older sister really are the most extraordinary things in the world. They are so shy at times but at other times really are the most off the wall creatures that you can imagine.