So we had this really great day planned today, the kids and I. I have been waiting for a couple of weeks to go this Halloween party that my cousin Andrea was throwing. I even got home from work early so that we could leave by 4 and not get there to late, the party started at 4 but she lives in Eagle Mountain and it is a little drive out there. But I had received another email from an aunt saying that she wasn't going to be able to leave Provo until 4:30-ish and so I didn't feel to bad getting there a little late. I imagined that lots of cousins were going to be there and all three of us were really looking forward to the fun parties that Andrea throws. So it took a little longer to get there because the map that I immediately downloaded from Mapquest.com when i got home was way to zoomed in and only gave me the name of the streets immediately surrounding her house, and it has been almost 2 1/2 years since I have been out to her house. No worries we made it to her house by 4:45. When we drove up things seemed a little strange because there were no cars in the driveway other than a work truck. I didn't think much of it maybe by some miracle we arrived first, not really thinking straight or logically at this point. Ariana knocked on the door and Brian, Andrea's husband, answered the door with two little munchkins dressed up for the Halloween party. He seemed a little bit surprised and so did I because nobody was there. He informed me that they had already had a great party, I instantly thought to myself how in 45 minutes did you have a great party. He then went on to say the great party had been the day before. In all my excitement or in all my scatter braininess I hadn't noticed that the date on the email invitation was for the Wednesday the 29th of October. Never in my life have I been more embarrassed, luckily only Brian was home and he didn't seem to bothered by the fact that we had showed up 24 hours late for their Halloween party.
Is life just difficult or am I just losing my mind. I really had no clue when we got there that we were 24 hours late and I felt so bad for my kids they had been wanting to go to that party all week to see family and have some Halloween fun. I will not let that happen again, maybe that is why I just stay cooped up in my house all the time, it's a lot harder to let your kids down when you never leave the living room.
We'll definitely get them next time.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Love you Dad
I had a very revealing conversation this evening. It as amazing how many things get suppressed over a lifetime of memories and how many subjective thoughts a person can have. I realized tonight that I don't sleep very well when my father goes on his "vacations" halfway across the world. I really fear that day when he doesn't come back, it has to be hard to lose your best friend. I fear and worry every day that he is gone and am very hesitant to answer the phone when my mother calls and he is on one of his trips. I have a fear of this, literally it keeps me from sleeping during the month or weeks depending on how long his trip might be. If there is one person that I can always count on it's my father, he really does understand everything that we go through. Yes he has been called hard to get along with even hard to understand before, but I wouldn't change anything in the world to have him here to help me on a daily basis. I know that you don't read these things very often Dad but I just wanted to say that I love you and appreciate all you do for your family and all you are doing to help me with mine. Thanks and I love you.
Not that my lifetime is even that long though, only a short 28 years, but tonight I started remembering things that had been pushed so far down into the dark recesses of the mind and it didn't take that much coxing to get them to come back out. Watch out those things and feelings never go away. Everything is out there now and it does feel good don't try and suppress feeling and let it all hang out, what's the worst that can happen?
Not that my lifetime is even that long though, only a short 28 years, but tonight I started remembering things that had been pushed so far down into the dark recesses of the mind and it didn't take that much coxing to get them to come back out. Watch out those things and feelings never go away. Everything is out there now and it does feel good don't try and suppress feeling and let it all hang out, what's the worst that can happen?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Cat Nap
I was reading some blogs of friends today and I realized something. At work there are many different types of people. Those with the doors wide open, come and go as you please style. Those that situate their offices so that they can see everyone's faces as soon as they are in the door. Then there are the type of people that put their desks in a manner that you can't even see their faces when you walk by their door. What is the deal with people why is it that people are so secretive. Do you really think that your job is so important to the company that you have to hide everything that you are doing. Hey stupid, everything that you do at work is company property. Your e-mails can be looked at anytime of the day by anyone who really matters. The company keeps tabs on everything and every page that you look at while you are at work. So don't think that your job is more important than anyone else because they keep tabs on everyone and everything that you are doing. You are not safe from anyone don't try and hide from them they know what you are doing all the time.
This came because the other day I was so tired at work that I was sitting looking at some old building plans at my desk when I realized that I kept dozing off. I couldn't believe it sleeping at work, so ashamed so unacceptable. Then I thought to myself, really come on. I really don't want to start complaining about work because I really enjoy my job. But I was told that there are 168 workable hours in a 7 day time period. Sadly that means that I could be and have been called in to work during any one of the 168 hours during the week. I have a phone that isn't even a year old a nicer flip-phone with a camera fell out of my shirt pocket when I was leaning over a scissor lift that was at the rafters at work. Dropped out of my pocket about thirty feet in the air, not to say that it took a pretty good bounce, sort of like a skydiver whose parachute doesn't open, but it broke in two. I could hear the people talking on the other side of the call but no picture and no more flip rather just always dangling in two pieces. I had to go get a new phone, I told the salesman to not even try I wasn't going to by anything expensive rather durable because the company was not going to reimburse me for my phone that broke at work. So I have this phone that isn't even a year old. Probably in the last year has been turned off a total of 15 minutes. So sometimes I have to manually turn the phone off because you can't hear the person talking on the other side. So I can be called into work anytime of night, day or weekend.
So I found myself sleeping in my office and later I thought who cares, I am actually tired and am not getting enough sleep at home either. I don't know what it is, call me "unrealistic or out of touch" (those on the JNAC might appreciate that) but for some odd reason I can't fall asleep at night or maybe it is just the fact that I like getting maybe 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Life sometimes sucks. You run into these situations that you never imagined could happen to you and you thought this should not happen to me I am a good person.
So back to the type of office personnel, I am none of the types mentioned above, rather I am the type that thinks "Damn I might fall asleep at my desk, during work hours, while on the clock, with the office door wide open, but honestly do I care because sometimes that is the only place that I can actually sleep". If you're looking for a reason to fire Paul Goold come by his office on a Wednesday or Thursday at around 11:30 am you won't have to look very hard because his door is going to be wide open and he is probably going to be catching a cat nap at his desk.
This came because the other day I was so tired at work that I was sitting looking at some old building plans at my desk when I realized that I kept dozing off. I couldn't believe it sleeping at work, so ashamed so unacceptable. Then I thought to myself, really come on. I really don't want to start complaining about work because I really enjoy my job. But I was told that there are 168 workable hours in a 7 day time period. Sadly that means that I could be and have been called in to work during any one of the 168 hours during the week. I have a phone that isn't even a year old a nicer flip-phone with a camera fell out of my shirt pocket when I was leaning over a scissor lift that was at the rafters at work. Dropped out of my pocket about thirty feet in the air, not to say that it took a pretty good bounce, sort of like a skydiver whose parachute doesn't open, but it broke in two. I could hear the people talking on the other side of the call but no picture and no more flip rather just always dangling in two pieces. I had to go get a new phone, I told the salesman to not even try I wasn't going to by anything expensive rather durable because the company was not going to reimburse me for my phone that broke at work. So I have this phone that isn't even a year old. Probably in the last year has been turned off a total of 15 minutes. So sometimes I have to manually turn the phone off because you can't hear the person talking on the other side. So I can be called into work anytime of night, day or weekend.
So I found myself sleeping in my office and later I thought who cares, I am actually tired and am not getting enough sleep at home either. I don't know what it is, call me "unrealistic or out of touch" (those on the JNAC might appreciate that) but for some odd reason I can't fall asleep at night or maybe it is just the fact that I like getting maybe 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Life sometimes sucks. You run into these situations that you never imagined could happen to you and you thought this should not happen to me I am a good person.
So back to the type of office personnel, I am none of the types mentioned above, rather I am the type that thinks "Damn I might fall asleep at my desk, during work hours, while on the clock, with the office door wide open, but honestly do I care because sometimes that is the only place that I can actually sleep". If you're looking for a reason to fire Paul Goold come by his office on a Wednesday or Thursday at around 11:30 am you won't have to look very hard because his door is going to be wide open and he is probably going to be catching a cat nap at his desk.
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