Love you Dad

I had a very revealing conversation this evening. It as amazing how many things get suppressed over a lifetime of memories and how many subjective thoughts a person can have. I realized tonight that I don't sleep very well when my father goes on his "vacations" halfway across the world. I really fear that day when he doesn't come back, it has to be hard to lose your best friend. I fear and worry every day that he is gone and am very hesitant to answer the phone when my mother calls and he is on one of his trips. I have a fear of this, literally it keeps me from sleeping during the month or weeks depending on how long his trip might be. If there is one person that I can always count on it's my father, he really does understand everything that we go through. Yes he has been called hard to get along with even hard to understand before, but I wouldn't change anything in the world to have him here to help me on a daily basis. I know that you don't read these things very often Dad but I just wanted to say that I love you and appreciate all you do for your family and all you are doing to help me with mine. Thanks and I love you.

Not that my lifetime is even that long though, only a short 28 years, but tonight I started remembering things that had been pushed so far down into the dark recesses of the mind and it didn't take that much coxing to get them to come back out. Watch out those things and feelings never go away. Everything is out there now and it does feel good don't try and suppress feeling and let it all hang out, what's the worst that can happen?