I had a very revealing conversation this evening. It as amazing how many things get suppressed over a lifetime of memories and how many subjective thoughts a person can have. I realized tonight that I don't sleep very well when my father goes on his "vacations" halfway across the world. I really fear that day when he doesn't come back, it has to be hard to lose your best friend. I fear and worry every day that he is gone and am very hesitant to answer the phone when my mother calls and he is on one of his trips. I have a fear of this, literally it keeps me from sleeping during the month or weeks depending on how long his trip might be. If there is one person that I can always count on it's my father, he really does understand everything that we go through. Yes he has been called hard to get along with even hard to understand before, but I wouldn't change anything in the world to have him here to help me on a daily basis. I know that you don't read these things very often Dad but I just wanted to say that I love you and appreciate all you do for your family and all you are doing to help me with mine. Thanks and I love you.
Not that my lifetime is even that long though, only a short 28 years, but tonight I started remembering things that had been pushed so far down into the dark recesses of the mind and it didn't take that much coxing to get them to come back out. Watch out those things and feelings never go away. Everything is out there now and it does feel good don't try and suppress feeling and let it all hang out, what's the worst that can happen?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Cat Nap
I was reading some blogs of friends today and I realized something. At work there are many different types of people. Those with the doors wide open, come and go as you please style. Those that situate their offices so that they can see everyone's faces as soon as they are in the door. Then there are the type of people that put their desks in a manner that you can't even see their faces when you walk by their door. What is the deal with people why is it that people are so secretive. Do you really think that your job is so important to the company that you have to hide everything that you are doing. Hey stupid, everything that you do at work is company property. Your e-mails can be looked at anytime of the day by anyone who really matters. The company keeps tabs on everything and every page that you look at while you are at work. So don't think that your job is more important than anyone else because they keep tabs on everyone and everything that you are doing. You are not safe from anyone don't try and hide from them they know what you are doing all the time.
This came because the other day I was so tired at work that I was sitting looking at some old building plans at my desk when I realized that I kept dozing off. I couldn't believe it sleeping at work, so ashamed so unacceptable. Then I thought to myself, really come on. I really don't want to start complaining about work because I really enjoy my job. But I was told that there are 168 workable hours in a 7 day time period. Sadly that means that I could be and have been called in to work during any one of the 168 hours during the week. I have a phone that isn't even a year old a nicer flip-phone with a camera fell out of my shirt pocket when I was leaning over a scissor lift that was at the rafters at work. Dropped out of my pocket about thirty feet in the air, not to say that it took a pretty good bounce, sort of like a skydiver whose parachute doesn't open, but it broke in two. I could hear the people talking on the other side of the call but no picture and no more flip rather just always dangling in two pieces. I had to go get a new phone, I told the salesman to not even try I wasn't going to by anything expensive rather durable because the company was not going to reimburse me for my phone that broke at work. So I have this phone that isn't even a year old. Probably in the last year has been turned off a total of 15 minutes. So sometimes I have to manually turn the phone off because you can't hear the person talking on the other side. So I can be called into work anytime of night, day or weekend.
So I found myself sleeping in my office and later I thought who cares, I am actually tired and am not getting enough sleep at home either. I don't know what it is, call me "unrealistic or out of touch" (those on the JNAC might appreciate that) but for some odd reason I can't fall asleep at night or maybe it is just the fact that I like getting maybe 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Life sometimes sucks. You run into these situations that you never imagined could happen to you and you thought this should not happen to me I am a good person.
So back to the type of office personnel, I am none of the types mentioned above, rather I am the type that thinks "Damn I might fall asleep at my desk, during work hours, while on the clock, with the office door wide open, but honestly do I care because sometimes that is the only place that I can actually sleep". If you're looking for a reason to fire Paul Goold come by his office on a Wednesday or Thursday at around 11:30 am you won't have to look very hard because his door is going to be wide open and he is probably going to be catching a cat nap at his desk.
This came because the other day I was so tired at work that I was sitting looking at some old building plans at my desk when I realized that I kept dozing off. I couldn't believe it sleeping at work, so ashamed so unacceptable. Then I thought to myself, really come on. I really don't want to start complaining about work because I really enjoy my job. But I was told that there are 168 workable hours in a 7 day time period. Sadly that means that I could be and have been called in to work during any one of the 168 hours during the week. I have a phone that isn't even a year old a nicer flip-phone with a camera fell out of my shirt pocket when I was leaning over a scissor lift that was at the rafters at work. Dropped out of my pocket about thirty feet in the air, not to say that it took a pretty good bounce, sort of like a skydiver whose parachute doesn't open, but it broke in two. I could hear the people talking on the other side of the call but no picture and no more flip rather just always dangling in two pieces. I had to go get a new phone, I told the salesman to not even try I wasn't going to by anything expensive rather durable because the company was not going to reimburse me for my phone that broke at work. So I have this phone that isn't even a year old. Probably in the last year has been turned off a total of 15 minutes. So sometimes I have to manually turn the phone off because you can't hear the person talking on the other side. So I can be called into work anytime of night, day or weekend.
So I found myself sleeping in my office and later I thought who cares, I am actually tired and am not getting enough sleep at home either. I don't know what it is, call me "unrealistic or out of touch" (those on the JNAC might appreciate that) but for some odd reason I can't fall asleep at night or maybe it is just the fact that I like getting maybe 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Life sometimes sucks. You run into these situations that you never imagined could happen to you and you thought this should not happen to me I am a good person.
So back to the type of office personnel, I am none of the types mentioned above, rather I am the type that thinks "Damn I might fall asleep at my desk, during work hours, while on the clock, with the office door wide open, but honestly do I care because sometimes that is the only place that I can actually sleep". If you're looking for a reason to fire Paul Goold come by his office on a Wednesday or Thursday at around 11:30 am you won't have to look very hard because his door is going to be wide open and he is probably going to be catching a cat nap at his desk.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
San Diego
This blog is coming a few months late. The kids, my dad and I went to San Diego for a week at the first of May this year. I was a little concerned for the kids and for my Dad. I hadn't ever taken the kids by myself for such a long time. The trip turned out great and we had some really fun times. I promised on my last post that I would get my camera back and post some photos from this trip. I hadn't remembered how much fun we really had until I viewed the photos of this trip. It really was a blast and thanks dad for having the patience that you did on this trip with us. I know that my kids really enjoyed it and I had a great time getting away from Salt Lake for a whole week and really just relaxing.
So here goes the photos I hope that I can explain all the
fun th
at we had:
We stopped in St. George on the way to San Diego to pick up my dad and spent a couple of days there enjoying the pre-hot weather that we were about to endure. The kids always have fun in St. George with any of the clan that still resides there.
Once in San Diego we had three major stops to make; Seaworld were a lot of the photos are taken (filled up the only memory card to quick) The kids love the penguins and grandpas really awesome hat!!! I think we must have went through the penguin house like 4 or 5 times (much cooler than a regularly cooled AC building, nice)
I don't know why I can't figure out this blogger page but I can't write next to some of the photos. Dad really did good with the kids he showed tons of patience and even allowed the kids to get interactive with a lot of the attractions at Seaworld, like the starfish.
The next leg of our trip was the San Diego Zoo, what a fun place other than however many acres the zoo is it literally sits on probably 3 or 4 humongous hills in downtown San Diego. Lovely place and some really nice exhibits but pushing a double stroller got old really quick. The picture after the starfish is 2 giant hippos just lounging in the heat. The kids really enjoyed these type of exhibits where they could actually see through what has to be some pretty thick glass into the hippos or the polar bear shot in the next picture. Really fun to see a polar bear in the water playing and swimming right on the other side of the glass. They even had a panda bear exhibit, the problem with this exhibit is they were doing some sort of study on the panda bears and wanted everyone to be really quiet around them (good luck with a 4 year old and a 2 year old who honestly believed that he was whatever animal we were viewing at the time and had to try and imitate the noises they make).
We actually went to the San Diego Wild Animal Park one day but by this time the camera was definitely full and the photographer was extremely tired of taking pictures. Fun park and much more in their habitat the animals than at the zoo. The last pictures are by far of the favorite thing that we did that the kids liked the best, Shamu, or one of his relatives. We sat through the killer whale show twice the first time we were at the very bottom next to the tank and in the "wet zone" little did we know that when they mean wet zone they really aren't trying to pull your leg. You are going to get soaked and smell like fish for the rest of the day. It was fun though and the kids liked being wet, but up that close you can't see anything that the whales are actually doing so the second time is when the photo was taken and we were actually sitting in some shade pretty high up in the auditorium.
The video is something that I had forgotten we had taken. If this is the right video it is actually pretty funny. You really couldn't see the orca coming up until he/she got right next to where you were standing. You see Matthew jump back in fear as it swims by and then can faintly hear Grandpa and I laughing in the background because we must have stood there for about 5 minutes and everytime the orca would swim by Matthew would do the exact same thing, shun in fear and then return to looking through the glass as soon as it had went by.
This will be a hard vacation to beat, hopefully when we go to Disneyland in December we will at least have as much fun as we had in San Diego in May.
So here goes the photos I hope that I can explain all the
fun th
at we had:
We stopped in St. George on the way to San Diego to pick up my dad and spent a couple of days there enjoying the pre-hot weather that we were about to endure. The kids always have fun in St. George with any of the clan that still resides there.
Once in San Diego we had three major stops to make; Seaworld were a lot of the photos are taken (filled up the only memory card to quick) The kids love the penguins and grandpas really awesome hat!!! I think we must have went through the penguin house like 4 or 5 times (much cooler than a regularly cooled AC building, nice)
I don't know why I can't figure out this blogger page but I can't write next to some of the photos. Dad really did good with the kids he showed tons of patience and even allowed the kids to get interactive with a lot of the attractions at Seaworld, like the starfish.
The next leg of our trip was the San Diego Zoo, what a fun place other than however many acres the zoo is it literally sits on probably 3 or 4 humongous hills in downtown San Diego. Lovely place and some really nice exhibits but pushing a double stroller got old really quick. The picture after the starfish is 2 giant hippos just lounging in the heat. The kids really enjoyed these type of exhibits where they could actually see through what has to be some pretty thick glass into the hippos or the polar bear shot in the next picture. Really fun to see a polar bear in the water playing and swimming right on the other side of the glass. They even had a panda bear exhibit, the problem with this exhibit is they were doing some sort of study on the panda bears and wanted everyone to be really quiet around them (good luck with a 4 year old and a 2 year old who honestly believed that he was whatever animal we were viewing at the time and had to try and imitate the noises they make).
We actually went to the San Diego Wild Animal Park one day but by this time the camera was definitely full and the photographer was extremely tired of taking pictures. Fun park and much more in their habitat the animals than at the zoo. The last pictures are by far of the favorite thing that we did that the kids liked the best, Shamu, or one of his relatives. We sat through the killer whale show twice the first time we were at the very bottom next to the tank and in the "wet zone" little did we know that when they mean wet zone they really aren't trying to pull your leg. You are going to get soaked and smell like fish for the rest of the day. It was fun though and the kids liked being wet, but up that close you can't see anything that the whales are actually doing so the second time is when the photo was taken and we were actually sitting in some shade pretty high up in the auditorium.
The video is something that I had forgotten we had taken. If this is the right video it is actually pretty funny. You really couldn't see the orca coming up until he/she got right next to where you were standing. You see Matthew jump back in fear as it swims by and then can faintly hear Grandpa and I laughing in the background because we must have stood there for about 5 minutes and everytime the orca would swim by Matthew would do the exact same thing, shun in fear and then return to looking through the glass as soon as it had went by.
This will be a hard vacation to beat, hopefully when we go to Disneyland in December we will at least have as much fun as we had in San Diego in May.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Butt naked wrestling
I don't know what it is about my kids, and hopefully this is all kids in general. They love to be naked. Good thing that they are only 2 and 4 or this might be a real problem. Seems like the hardest thing to do is to get them dressed for bed after they have had a bath. They will wrestle with anyone when they are naked, good thing that this only happens after the fact that they have had a bath, mostly Matthew does all the wrestling. Which isn't always a good thing because he thinks that wrestling is sitting on peoples faces, sort of gross but really not that bad because it is just a naked 2 year old butt on your face fresh out of the bath. I try and figure out why being naked is such a fun thing, maybe it is just re-leaving or just the fact that what you are doing is in direct violation of what your parent is saying at that time "Put on your clothes now or else!!!". Then I think that maybe they got this genetically from their father?
Then I think to myself okay maybe it is a genetic thing, dad at 4 years old was skinny dipping in Hawaii with his 6 year old sister. Some things I guess just don't ever die. I wonder if my kids and I took a trip to Hawaii they would also be skinny dipping in whatever we are calling this.
I don't really remember any of these antics on our family vacation to Southern California this May, seems like I only remember them with their clothes on. I guess it is a little bit harder to take your clothes off at Sea World and the Zoo.
I sure hope that if we can go to Disneyland with Michael and Becca in December that they also will keep their clothes on or else we might not be able to spend the whole 3 days there but rather only until we get kicked out for indecency.
I was going to post some pictures of our trip to California this spring but realize that I don't have the pictures downloaded yet and will have to post them later when I get my camera back. There are some pretty funny ones so I will try and get them put up sometime this week
Then I think to myself okay maybe it is a genetic thing, dad at 4 years old was skinny dipping in Hawaii with his 6 year old sister. Some things I guess just don't ever die. I wonder if my kids and I took a trip to Hawaii they would also be skinny dipping in whatever we are calling this.
I don't really remember any of these antics on our family vacation to Southern California this May, seems like I only remember them with their clothes on. I guess it is a little bit harder to take your clothes off at Sea World and the Zoo.
I sure hope that if we can go to Disneyland with Michael and Becca in December that they also will keep their clothes on or else we might not be able to spend the whole 3 days there but rather only until we get kicked out for indecency.
I was going to post some pictures of our trip to California this spring but realize that I don't have the pictures downloaded yet and will have to post them later when I get my camera back. There are some pretty funny ones so I will try and get them put up sometime this week
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sundays
I hate to say that over the last couple or 8 or 9 months we haven't been the most active going church members. I have pretty much thought up any excuse to not go to church on Sunday mornings, sometimes even as soon as Saturday nights. I can't say that this has made me real proud or even a much better anything. I hasn't been easy to even want to go back to church, but over the last couple of weeks we have been trying to get back to church. I can't say that it has been anything easy and this is probably one of the things that I am least proud of at this stage in life that has happened. Being very much less active when you know that something is true is a very hard step and path to walk down.
Over the past few weeks that we have been going back, and it does make it much easier that the kids enjoy being at primary and nursery and stay there by themselves for both hours, it has made such a difference in our daily lives. Parenting is a very hard thing but life just seems to go easier when you are trying to live correctly. The church really is a place that can be a refuge from the daily ordeals that one puts themselves through.
The kids and I are going to try and get there every week that we are together and I will make a much more valiant effort to be there every Sunday even if I don't have the little ones.
Over the past few weeks that we have been going back, and it does make it much easier that the kids enjoy being at primary and nursery and stay there by themselves for both hours, it has made such a difference in our daily lives. Parenting is a very hard thing but life just seems to go easier when you are trying to live correctly. The church really is a place that can be a refuge from the daily ordeals that one puts themselves through.
The kids and I are going to try and get there every week that we are together and I will make a much more valiant effort to be there every Sunday even if I don't have the little ones.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Favorite time of day
I hope that this doesn't come out wrong or someone think the wrong thing. My favorite time of day is that time after my kids have "finally decided" that they are going to bed and minutes that I get before I go to bed myself. Alone time is sometimes the very best thing in the world. I love to get on the computer for a few minutes and get caught up on some blogging. I get a pretty good laugh first from my older sister, Sarah, she really knows how to make my day. I'm sure that she doesn't know it but I am a regular "stalker" of her blog, it just brightens up those really dark days. You don't have to know her to get her jokes and really good humor either, Seven Village Idiarts, is her Blog and it really is fun. Then I like to check on the whole family and see if anyone that blogs has blogged anything new, usually just something here or there but nice to be able to sit down and read about the fam for a little while. Lastly before possibly blogging myself I love sitting down and catching up on some JNAC before bed. It might seem real strange but that group of girls has something about them that is nice to read about once in a while.
I am not one for posting anywhere else but love commenting on other blogs and only posting on my own.
Back to the best time of day, the thing that can really ruin a really good end to a day is when you are trying to relax and you get that very undesired phone call from none other than work. Usually when someone from work calls at this time there is some disaster at the plant and they need immediate assistance and that means "Super" Paul to the rescue. I really should move much farther away from the plant, still within commuter range, but far enough away so that I am not the closest one and quickest to get there if there is a problem. Then again this wouldn't make the 4 hour call-in really that worth it either. Because if it took longer to get to work then I wouldn't be making that much for actually going in. I guess that I should just stop complaining and enjoy the time that I have.
I do love the afternoons with the kids, just have to say that 8-9 hours at the plant sometimes one just wants to come home and relax. I guess that those relaxing days are over and this is another type of lifestyle that one pretty much has to get used to. Well that is probably enough of that.
I am not one for posting anywhere else but love commenting on other blogs and only posting on my own.
Back to the best time of day, the thing that can really ruin a really good end to a day is when you are trying to relax and you get that very undesired phone call from none other than work. Usually when someone from work calls at this time there is some disaster at the plant and they need immediate assistance and that means "Super" Paul to the rescue. I really should move much farther away from the plant, still within commuter range, but far enough away so that I am not the closest one and quickest to get there if there is a problem. Then again this wouldn't make the 4 hour call-in really that worth it either. Because if it took longer to get to work then I wouldn't be making that much for actually going in. I guess that I should just stop complaining and enjoy the time that I have.
I do love the afternoons with the kids, just have to say that 8-9 hours at the plant sometimes one just wants to come home and relax. I guess that those relaxing days are over and this is another type of lifestyle that one pretty much has to get used to. Well that is probably enough of that.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
RNC WOW WOW
Wow, I don't think that I have ever sat down and actually watched any type of Republican/Democrat convention. I have to say, maybe it is just the fact that I am from Alaska, but that Sarah Palin seems to be maybe just what the Republican Party needed. Maybe not being overwhelmed in the "Washington Elite" is actually a good thing, how ironic. I can see that everyone has flaws, who doesn't, but she gave a very well placed speech at what I think was a very much needed time. Ok this is probably the only speech that I will watch out of this convention and I didn't watch any of the speeches from the other convention. It probably does have to do with those small town Alaskan roots, but I hope that she and her running mate will make it as far as God intended for them to go. Seems like she has maybe what is needed right now for this country as a whole. Hopefully the next few weeks will set her even more soundly in her conviction to do what is right and also in her policies and her and McCain can show us that they are going to stand for something that we need right now and not just blow hot air up our ..... and then "change" once the get were they want to be. I was very taken back by Governor Palin, I have to admit that I like many others didn't expect this but she is bound to do something good for this country, and if all that is honesty then more power to her.
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